


A Casual Affair

by xXBookwormXx



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: ADHD, Brendon being Brendon, Denial, FOB, Feels, Formation of P!ATD, Multi, P!ATD, Temporary relationship, craziness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8547463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXBookwormXx/pseuds/xXBookwormXx
Summary: It was the summer of 2004 and Ryan met Brendon...
Ryan Ross has his life sorted out. He has an amazing girlfriend, he's starting a band and he already has a few people who want to join. 
Enter Brendon Urie. He's quite different from Ryan. He's impulsive, hyper and extremely loud... And seems to be attracted to Ryan. 
Ryan is determined not to let Brendon make everything in his life turn sour. He is already in a relationship after all and he's ninety-nine percent sure he's straight. 
But love is not a choice...





	1. Ryan

Ryan pecked Helena on the lips, before picking up his guitar. He'd just started a band with Brent Wilson and was extremely nervous about the auditions. What if no one came? What if all the auditions were terrible? He inhaled deeply and reassured himself that it'd be okay. 

There would be someone there for certain. Brent had invited someone after all. 

"See you later, Lena," he said, smiling fondly at her. 

"Bye, Ryan," his girlfriend said,"Stop worrying, by the way. It'll be fine!" 

"I know, I know," he replied, sighing,"Just nervous. I'll tell you how it goes."

And with that he left, closing the door to Lena's house and racing towards the school. Brent had managed to convince the music teacher to let them use the music room for auditions. 

He arrived at the school a few minutes later, just on time. Brent had set up the tables, for the both of them to judge with.

"Has anyone arrived yet?" Ryan asked. 

Brent nodded but seemed somewhat crestfallen. "Uh, yeah, he said,"Two guys from our year and a girl from the year above us." 

Ryan wondered why Brent seemed disappointed but he didn't question it. It wasn't his business. If he'd wanted him to know, he would've told him. 

"Do you know their names?" 

"Eh...," Brent paused,"Spencer Smith was there for certain. The girl was called somethin' Jones. Can't remember the name of last one." 

Ryan nodded, his stomach doing backflips. He wondered if that was all who was going to come. If so, then it was certainly more than he'd expected. To be honest, he'd only thought Brent's friend to show up. 

"We should probably get started then," Ryan decided,"No point in keeping them waiting." 

Half an hour later they'd decided upon who they'd wanted. They'd gone with Spencer almost immediately. He was extremely good on the guitar, seemed agreeable enough and had a good bit of free time. Angela Jones had been an amazing guitarist but she didn't want to do the regular band practices. The last one, they knew from class, got angry at the smallest things and wasn't exactly easy to work with so he decided against letting him join. His drum skills hadn't been very impressive either. They were still short a guitarist though. 

Brent had continued looking towards the door throughout the audition, as if hoping for someone to come in. Ryan wondered if his friend was coming or not.

"Is that all?" Ryan asked, glancing at Brent. 

Brent nodded, a disappointed expression etched across his face. "Yeah," he said, cheerily but it sounded forced,"At least I think so." He stole another glance at the door. 

Ryan began to put away the tables and Brent grabbed the keys to the room. 

"Wait!" a voice said quickly,"Sorry, I'm a little late." The person paused. "A lot late. I got distracted." 

Ryan wondered what could distract someone so much that they'd be half an hour late for an audition. He glanced at Brent who's face had lit up. 

He turned to look at the speaker. It was a seventeen-year-old boy who had a high forehead and dark hair. He had chocolate brown eyes and pink lips. His pallid skin contrasted his dark hair. He had a wide smile on his face and his fingers were twitching as though he couldn't stay still. Or he was itching to play something. 

He assumed this was Brent's friend, judging from his overjoy at seeing the newcomer. 

"Uh... am I too late?" the guy said, breaking the silence. 

Brent shook his head, still grinning. Ryan shrugged. "No, not at all," he said.

"Awesome!" he said, his wide smile getting even wider,"Um.. I'm Brendon Urie, you know by the way. Just in case you wanted to know. Do you have a guitar? I forgot mine." 

Ryan raised an eyebrow but handed him his guitar nonetheless. "Yeah," he said. 

"Thanks, dude," Brendon said, taking it from him. 

"No problem," Ryan said, leaning against the table and folding his arms. 

Brendon winked at Brent, who gave him a thumbs up. 

He played a few random notes on the guitar at first before playing the first verse and chorus of Blink 182's 'I Miss You' . Ryan couldn't deny he was good. Brent was grinning from ear to ear. 

Brendon finished up. "Did I do good?" he asked, looking slightly nervous for the first time.

"Yeah," Ryan said,"Uh, we have practices on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at my house." 

Brendon did a small, odd victory dance. "I'll be there," he said,"And I won't be late."

________

Tuesday came and the band met up for the first time.

They rehearsed the same song several times before Ryan was satisfied with it. By the end, Ryan was confident that Iit was as close as possible to the original without sounding identical to it. 

After an hour of practicing, they took a break and Ryan's mom served them refreshments. Brendon was eyeing Ryan in a way that made him somewhat uncomfortable but he ignored the feeling.

Brendon quickly got bored of sitting down, as evidenced by the fact that he'd fallen off his chair and began blowing raspberries. 

Brent sniggered at the sounds and joined in, making farting noises. 

Ryan grinned and couldn't help making loud pooping noises, making it seem like an acapella of rude noises. 

Spencer began singing terribly then, just repeatedly saying the words, 'shit', 'fart', 'crap' and 'piss'. 

Brendon, continuing to blow raspberries, climbed back onto his chair and stood up and began jumping up and down on it.

Ryan thought that was a rather stupid move but didn't really care at the moment. He laughed and clapped his hands together, to create a background drumbeat-esque sound. 

Sure enough, Brendon lost his footing and fell to the floor. "Ow," he said, lying there and staring up into the ceiling. 

Brent snorted and Spencer went into a fit of laughter.

Ryan rolled his eyes and held out a hand to help Brendon up. 

"Are you an angel?" Brendon asked,"Am I dead?" 

Brent and Spencer were slapping their knees and rolling on the floor with laughter. 

Ryan did his best to hold back his own laughter. "No, I'm your band leader," he replied. 

"Oh," Brendon said,"That explains why you looked so similar to Ryan Ross." 

"Yeah," Ryan said,"That's cause I am him. Surprise!"

Brendon stuck out his tongue at him. 

"Do you want me to help you up or not?" Ryan asked,"My hand is getting tired."

"I'm fine on the floor," Brendon said.

Ryan rolled his eyes."Suit yourself." He walked over to the other two. 

"I changed my mind now," Brendon said,"I actually need help. I'm stuck."

Ryan shook his head in awe and replied,"Too bad." 

"Aw, c'mon," Brendon said,"Brent, you're my bestie. Help me up?" 

Brent shook his head. "You're fucking eighteen, Brendon, you can get up by yourself." 

"But I'm stuck," he protested, making a poor effort to get up. 

"Sure you are," Brent replied,"Oh and you can watch us while we're practicing." 

Brendon climbed to his feet, grumbling. 

"See, that wasn't hard, was it?" Brent said. 

"Fuck you," Brendon retorted, holding up the middle finger. 

Brent just snorted in reply.

"We'd better get back to rehearsing then, guys," Ryan said, intervening before anything got too heated. 

"Finally!" Brendon said, his mood shifting quickly. 

They played the song twice more and Ryan thought they sounded great by the end. Brendon claimed they were better than the original but Ryan didn't agree. Spencer had said almost as good as Blink-182, which they all agreed on. Ryan was happy with the choice for the band. They were an awesome group of guys, who were extremely talented. He was positive that the band was going to be the best decision of his life.

_______________________ 

They'd been practicing for three weeks when Ryan had told the others he wouldn't be able to make that Thursday's session. It was quickly met with complaints from the other band members. 

"Who's supposed to sing now?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I don't know," Ryan said, getting slightly annoyed at the constant question-asking from the trio. 

"So is there band practice or not?" Brendon asked.

"Yes," Ryan said, a little harsher than he'd intended. 

Brendon raised his eyebrows. "Well someone's in a shitty mood."

Ryan rolled his eyes. 

"We can practice at my house," Brent said. 

Ryan was glad someone was offering a solution rather than a question. "One of you could sing in my place." 

"Who though?" Spencer asked and Ryan felt an urge to punch him. He hadn't provided any ideas.

Brent rubbed the back of his neck, looking at though he hoped no one would notice he was there and suggest he sing. 

"I could sing," Brendon piped up. 

"There, it's sorted," Ryan said, folding his arms in a huff. 

"Can you sing though?" Spencer asked, beginning the stream of questions again. 

"Yeah, I'm amazing," Brendon said, attempting doing a hair flick with long, invisible locks. 

"A shitty singer is better than none," Ryan interrupted. 

"Rude," Brendon said, pulling a face. 

Ryan gave him a light shove. 

"Where do you have to go agai-," Spencer started, but was cut off quickly by Ryan.

"Spencer!" he said furiously,"I swear, I'll fucking kill you if you ask another question!"

____________________

That Saturday, band practice went on as normal. Well... Sort of. 

The minute Brent arrived at Ryan's house, he'd began talking extremely quickly. Ryan hadn't had a chance to process what he'd said so, when Brent finished, Ryan just blinked and said,"What?" 

"Did you even here a word I said?" Brent asked, giving him a bitchface. 

"Uh...," Ryan started, trailing off rather quickly before smiling nervously. 

Brent sighed dramatically and began again. "You know Brendon covered for you on Thursday?" 

Ryan nodded. "Uh-huh." 

"Yeah, well, me and Spencer were expecting him to be shit, don't tell him I said that, but he was actually fucking awesome!" Brent said excitedly. 

"Yeah, okay," Ryan said, then paused,"So?" 

"Well, we were thinking...," Brent said, then stopped. 

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" he said. 

"Well, no offence, of course, but what if he's the lead singer instead," Brent said, nervously. 

What Brent had said took a moment to reach his brain and when it did, Ryan was slightly offended. Was he not good enough? Brendon was meant to be the guitarist, not the fucking lead singer! So, all of a sudden, Brendon was excellent and he was only okay? He didn't voice his anger or envy though and just spoke in a monotonous voice. "I'll listen to him and then we'll decide." Ryan was scared of having a vote, because what if they preferred Brendon? 

"Okay," Brent said, seeming glad Ryan had taken it well,"Sounds good."

Brendon arrived after Brent and Spencer came five minutes late (Ryan was extremely accurate in his timing). 

"So," Brent started,"Ryan and I" - Ryan glared at him and he quickly changed track-"I was thinking what if we performed one practice with Brendon as lead singer instead of Ryan and we see who we prefer." 

"That's fucking dope!" Brendon said, his grin stretching from ear to ear. Then he noticed Ryan's annoyed expression. "Uh... I mean, sure."

Brendon seemed nervous about performing as lead singer. He had seemed so sure of himself before Ryan had given him that look. Ryan felt a little bit guilty about giving him that kind of stare but pushed the feelings aside. 

Brendon started off mediocre, his voice trembling slightly and missing most of the high notes. The back of his neck and his hair was slick with sweat. 

Ryan stole a glance at the other two, who looked confused and Spencer met his eyes and shrugged. 

But once they'd gotten to the chorus, Brendon had managed to find his confidence. He inhaled deeply durin the instrumental, a few seconds before the chorus and his singing voice became more powerful and stronger. Ryan, somewhat begrudgingly, had to admit Brendon had an amazing voice.

They finished up the song, Brendon stretching out the last note for at least forty-five seconds. 

Brendon turned around, smirking. "I did good, right?" 

Ryan nodded. "Uh... Brendon?" Ryan could barely believe what he was about to say. He had always wanted to be the lead singer, ever since he'd thought up the idea of starting a band. But he had to face the truth. Brendon was a better vocalist than he was. 

Brendon nodded slowly. 

"Would..um... would you like to be lead singer instead?" Ryan asked, hoping Brendon would refuse, but knowing better.

Brendon's eyes widened. "That'd be fucking awesome! " 

Ryan smiled weakly. "Cool."

Brendon looked slightly guilty but Ryan was almost positive it was an act. 

They continued the session as normal and Brendon was a better vocalist than Ryan could hope to be.

Ryan felt as though he needed some time alone to go over what'd happened but held out for as long as possible but eventually it became too much and he excused himself to the bathroom. 

Ryan sat alone in his room for a while. He could only think of the fact that he wasn't the lead vocalist anymore. He felt bad for feeling jealous of Brendon but he couldn't help it. He had wanted that position. He'd always wanted to be the main singer. Ever since he'd wanted to form a band. 

There was a knock on the door. "Can we.. talk?" the person said. 

"Go away Brendon, " Ryan said, annoyed. Brendon was the last person he wanted to see right now. 

"Please?" 

"Fine," Ryan grumbled. 

Brendon opened the door and stepped in. "Could...I ... uh... sit down on the bed?" 

Ryan nodded, not really in the mood to talk. 

Brendon sat across from Ryan, and looked down at his fingers. 

Neither of them spoke. But the silence was somber rather than awkward. 

"I'm sorry," Brendon said at last, breaking the silence. 

"Why?" Ryan could think of plenty of reasons why he should be sorry. Most were associated with him being lead singer. 

"For taking your place," Brendon mumbled, "I know how much it meant to you."

Ryan just nodded. 

"You could be the backing vocalist," Brendon suggested. 

Ryan glared at him. 

"Not good?" Brendon said, smiling weakly. 

Ryan didn't reply, determined not to speak to Brendon. 

"You're an awesome singer," Brendon said. 

"Has anyone ever told you you're absolutely shit at comforting people," Ryan said, doing his best to fight off laughter from Brendon's poor attempts to make him feel better. He was winning at the moment. 

"Hey, I'm trying to make you feel better," Brendon insisted,"I never said I'd actually be good at it!" 

Ryan lost his battle and grinned. "Then what's the point of comforting me if you're shit at it?" 

"Oh my fucking God, Ryan," Brendon said, in a high-pitched, girly voice,"That's not what's important!"

"God is fucking someone?" Ryan asked,"Who?"

Brendon snorted. His hand moved on top of Ryan's. 

Ryan looked up and stared into Brendon's eyes. 

Brendon stared back with chocolate brown eyes. 

It was so sudden. Ryan barely realised what had occurred  
One minute he was staring into Brendon's eyes and next they were kissing.

Brendon's may have been kissing Ryan softly, but it was not without passion. It was there for certain, hidden by waves of delicate affection. 

Ryan melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Brendon's neck and holding himself close to the boy he'd been furious at but a few minutes ago.

When Brendon broke away, his cheeks were flushed. Ryan smiled weakly at him. 

"I'll see you in a few minutes then, I suppose," Brendon said and left the room, still as red as a tomato.

Ryan nodded slowly. Two things dawned on him in that moment. 

That, one, he had just cheated on his girlfriend. 

And that, two, Brendon Boyd Urie was an excellent kisser.


	2. Brendon

Brendon had left the room in a bit of rush. He couldn't believe he'd just kissed Ryan! What the fuck had convinced him to do that? He felt awful for kissing him without his consent. 

But he couldn't deny it had been a good kiss. A good first kiss. Well, it hadn't been his  _first_ kiss. That honour went to a girl called Britney. But he'd been twelve. And curious. So it didn't really count.

Ryan had been his first _real_ kiss.

That was kinda sad now that he thought of it. First real kiss when he was eighteen? Ryan may have been a year older than him but he already had a girlfriend. 

Then something else dawned on him. 

"Shit!" he said, loudly. He heard Brent and Spencer's talking stop for a moment. He kept quiet until their chatter began again. 

He'd just made Ryan cheat on his girlfriend! He felt sick. 

He had already felt guilty for taking Ryan's position as lead singer. This.... This was really making him feel like a massive jerk. 

Brendon was pretty sure he was after totally ruining Ryan's day. 

He would apologise to him as soon at the soonest possible moment and say it was all his fault and that he didn't deserve to be his friend- 

Brendon's thoughts were interrupted by Spencer yelling that they were starting again. He would apologise after rehearsals. 

But after rehearsals, Brendon had completely forgotten about his mission to make it up to Ryan. 

________________ 

Brendon raced into the house, a massive grin slapped on his face. He nearly knocked over Ryan's mom, apologised quickly and ran into the room they were rehearsing in. 

"Finally," Brent muttered, who was stretched out on the couch, looking bored out of his mind. 

"Why're you so happy?" Spencer asked curiously. 

Brendon ignored both of them and leaned on his knees, gasping for air. "Whew," he said, standing up straight,"I got here as fast as possible." 

"Why?" Ryan asked. He looked so cute when he was confused. Brendon quickly banished the thought. 

"I wanna know that too," Spencer added. 

"It's so fucking dope guys," Brendon said,"I got us somewhere to perform our first concert." 

"Where?" Spencer asked. 

"Uh... the Mormon Church," Brendon said, a little bit embarrassed. 

Brent didn't seem surprised. Ryan didn't really seem bothered by it. Spencer raised his eyebrows. 

"It's a youth dance," Brendon continued,"My mom said we could play if we wanted. Uh... And guys?" 

"Yeah?" they chorused.

"It'll be really fun, a lot of cute girls, and a lot of people our age, I swear," Brendon said,"But... we have to dress up. We've gotta wear suits and ties." 

Ryan made the decision for the other two. Well, he spoke first at least. "Okay," he said,"Cool." 

"That's fucking great," Brendon said,"It's on next Wednesday. Everyone free then?" 

"Yup," Spencer said,"Well, I am." 

"Same here," Brent said. 

"Yeah," Ryan said, then paused,"Hey, Brendon?" 

"Uh-huh?" 

"Is it okay if I bring Lena?" Ryan asked and Brendon's heart sunk to the bottom of his chest,"It's just she's never seen us perform and I really want to show her how good we've gotten."

"Uh. Sure," Brendon said, even though he really didn't want her to come.

Ryan seemed oblivious to Brendon's dislike of what he'd requested and that infuriated Brendon even more.

____________

Wednesday came quickly. Which didn't help Brendon's nerves. They had rehearsed for longer than usual but he still felt as though they weren't good enough. And it was Ryan who was usually the picky one. 

Brendon usually sang worse when he was nervous, which was making him on edge which added to his worries.

Basically, Brendon was a nervous wreck.

His mother insisted on choosing his suit for him and due not being able to speak because of the sensation of butterflies in his stomach. Well, by now it felt like bats. 

She chose out the suit he usually wore when going to church on Sunday. Well, when he had gone to church. Now he spent his Sundays at home alone. Which his parents didn't approve. Brendon didn't care though. He did a lot of things that his parents didn't approve of.

His mother drove him there without a sound. There usually was silence between them. At least ever since he'd quit being a Mormon. 

They arrived a few minutes before the dance started. Brendon climbed out of the car and glanced back at his mother. 

"Mom?"

He received a nod in reply. 

"Uh.. thanks for organising this." 

Once again his mother nodded but he though he saw a smile a play on the corners of her mouth. 

He raced inside, to find Brent and Ryan setting everything up. 

"Hey," Brendon said, his voice wavering. 

"Nervous?" Ryan asked. 

Brendon nodded. 

"Same," Ryan said. 

Brendon took comfort in the fact that he wasn't the only one who was nervous. 

"Where's Spencer?" he asked, trying to put some strength into his voice. 

"He hasn't arrived yet," Brent said, a worried expression clear on his face. 

"He didn't say he'd be late, did he?" Ryan asked.

"No, he said nothing about being late," Brent replied. 

"Oh, yeah, there's someone I wanted you guys to meet," Ryan said,"Wait a second." Ryan raced off. 

While Ryan was away getting whoever he wanted them to know, Brendon helped Brent set up the drums. Just when they finished up, Spencer walked in. 

"Where the fuck were you?" Brent asked.

"I'm not late, am I?" Spencer said. 

"No, you were damn sure near it!" Brent said.

"I brought food," Spencer said, smiling weakly. 

"What kind of food?" Brendon said, speaking before Brent could. 

"Uh... Malteasers," Spencer said. 

"All your sins are forgiven, " Brendon said,"Gimme some."

Spencer handed him a few. 

"On-no. Three more please," Brendon said. 

Spencer reluctantly gave him a few more. 

Brendon shoved all of them into his mouth at once. "I gould pwobabwy 'it a 'ew mor' in," Brendon warbled.

Spencer grinned. He handed him another. 

Brendon put into his mouth. He made the hand gesture to keep them coming. 

Spencer had handed him two more by the time Ryan had returned. 

Ryan had a tall, brown-haired girl with him. She was stick-thin, with little to no curves and her hair was a mousey colour. She had a pretty face though, with pale blue eyes, thin lips and a button nose. She had a long, swan-like neck and a diamond-shaped face, with high cheekbones. 

Spencer was about to hand Brendon another Malteaser but quickly jerked back his hand. 

Brendon didn't figure out why for a few minutes. His cheeks flushed and he quickly chewed and swallowed the Malteasers. 

The girl's smile was strained. 

Brendon smiled weakly back, avoiding Ryan's eyes. He risked a glance at Brent, who looked like he wanted nothing to do with the two of them which was evident by the way he was standing apart from them. 

Personally, Brendon wanted the ground to swallow him up. 

Ryan's voice broke the silence. "Lena, these are my bandmates, Brent, Spencer and Brendon." 

Brendon nodded when Ryan said his name. 

"Guys, this is my girlfriend Lena." 

Brendon felt as though the situation was made three times more awkward by finding out that this was Ryan's girlfriend. He wished the ground would hurry up and open up and remove him from this situation. 

"Nice to meet you," Lena said, but Brendon thought he could hear disapproval in her tone. He hoped he was just being paranoid though.

"Nice to meet you too," Brent said. Spencer and Brendon stayed quiet, Brendon wallowing in his shame. 

"Brent, you're the bassist, right?" Lena asked, ignoring the other two, which caused Brendon to feel even worse. 

Brent nodded, and it was clear that he was glad to participate in a conversation to break to the awkward silence. 

"My dad used to play bass with his own band," Lena said,"They never really reached fame though." 

"Nice," Brent said.

Brendon simply watched the two of them talk about base, hoping that the dance would start soon so that they could just get away from Lena. 

Fortunately, the dance did start. "Guys, Lena," Ryan said,"I hate to tear you away from each other, but we have to go on stage now..." 

Brendon had never been happier to hear those words in his life.

Lena seemed actually upset by that and Brent smiled sadly at her. "Talk to you later then," he said. 

Brendon walked on stage as quickly as possible. And was then hit with stage fright.

There must've been at least a hundred people in that room, all staring up at him. The room was familiar but the people were not. And it made him uncomfortable. 

He got restless and began shifting his position often, due more to stress than boredom. He inhaled deeply. He could do this. 

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen," he started, his throat dry and sounding a bit raspy, "We'll be your... entertainment for the night..." He trailed off when he met Lena's eyes. She was looking at him with a somewhat incredulous look on her face... and not in a good way. 

He looked away quickly. "Anyway, I hope you all have a good night. Uh, thank you." Brendon rushed through the last two sentences, flustered and going a shade of red. 

The hundred faces looked away and the urge to get sick immediately lessened immensely.

Spencer began to play the drums and Ryan and Brent followed suit and Brendon felt at ease. He was back in Ryan's house and it was just another practice except now they had an audience.

Feeling confident, Brendon began to sing. 

________________

After everyone had left the dance, including Lena, who was after having a long conversation with Brent, the band began to pack up. 

Brent had left first , while they were still putting away the drum kit and the piano. 

Spencer left after that, giving the last Malteaser to Brendon before he went. 

Brendon and Ryan remained there, with only each for company. Which Brendon didn't mind at all.

While they were sitting there in silence, Brendon remembered his apology. 

"Ryan?" Brendon asked. 

"Yeah?" came the reply.

"About what happened in your bedroom," Brendon said, squirming in his seat. 

Ryan tensed. "What about it?" 

"I'm sorry," Brendon mumbled.

Ryan was silent for a bit and Brendon couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. 

"What for?" Ryan finally said. 

"Making you cheat on Lena," Brendon muttered.

Ryan nodded. Then paused. "That was a damn good kiss though." 

Brendon was geniunely surprised by that reply. "It was?" 

Ryan nodded, smiling widely. 

"Would you like another?" Brendon said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Ryan snorted. 

"I'm taking that for a yes," he said and kissed him. 

This time, the kiss was rougher and more passionate. Neither of them were holding back or dipping their feet. They dove right in. They kissed with hunger for one another.

Brendon licked Ryan's lips, as though asking him for permission to enter. Ryan allowed him and Brendon's tongue searched the inside of his mouth, exploring it. Ryan's tongue made contact with his and they wrestled for a little bit, which Ryan won. 

They pulled away eventually, gasping for breath.

"I swear if you tell Lena," Ryan panted,"I will rip you shreds." He sounded as if he intented to carry out that threat.

"My lips are sealed," Brendon replied, inhaling deeply, "Wow. That was a pretty dope kiss."

Ryan nodded. "Agreed."

A small black car drove up to the church. "Oh," Ryan said,"That's my mom. Bye." 

"See ya," Brendon said, watching Ryan leave and feeling extremely alone.

____________

Brendon was lying on the couch, humming under his breath and looking up at the ceiling, in Ryan's house. 

Spencer was tapping the drums and mumbling something under his breath. 

Brent was strumming the bass guitar quietly. 

"I'm bored," Brendon said suddenly. 

Brent glanced at Brendon. "And you think we aren't?" 

"How can someone be late to rehearsals at their own house," Spencer asked. 

"Don't ask me," Brendon replied, wondering the same thing. 

"Maybe he's asleep?" Spencer suggested. 

Brendon turned his head to look at Spencer. "Why bother asking a question if you're going to answer it yourself," he said,"Where's the fucking logic in that?" 

Spencer shrugged. 

"Brilliant answer," Brendon muttered, looking back up at the ceiling again.

The awkward silence returned.

Brendon began to fidget with a cushion and then began throwing it up in the air. 

Ryan burst in. "Guys, guess what just fucking happened?" he said, his eyes alight. 

"You were late," Brendon said, sitting up,"That's what fucking happened." 

Ryan ignored him. "I met Pete Wentz!" 

Spencer dropped his drumstick.

"That's fucking dope!" Brendon said, fanboying internally. 

"What'd you say?" Brent asked.

"Well, I told him I was part of a band and I asked if he could check us out," Ryan said, his smile getting wider as he spoke. 

"What did he say?" Spencer asked, his eyes wide. 

"He said he would!" Ryan said,"How damn awesome is that?"

Brendon screamed like a girl. 

They all stared at him. And then all of them burst in laughter. 

"What the fuck was that?" Brent asked.

"I couldn't keep my excitement in," Brendon replied,"Duh." 

"Yeah, but why scream?" Ryan asked, bending over with laughter,"You sounded like a girl." 

"Well, it was either that or I'd piss my pants," Brendon replied.

Spencer was slapping Brent hard on the back, doubling over laughing. 

"Oh my God," he said. 

"Spencer!" Brendon said, doing his best mother impression,"Do not use the Lord's name in vain." 

"Fuck you," Spencer said. 

"Go fuck yourself," Brendon replied. 

"That be kinda difficult, wouldn't it," Spencer said. 

"Are you sure that your cock isn't big enough to do it?" Brendon asked. 

Spencer glared at him while the others laughed.

"I hate you," Spencer said, then paused,"Beebo." 

"Beebo?" Ryan asked, confused. 

"Yeah, for Brendon Boyd," Spencer said, seeming proud of himself for coming up with it. 

"Shouldn't it be Breebo then?" Brendon said, looking confused. 

"Oh, shut up!" 


	3. Ryan

The next few weeks were pretty hard on the band. Ryan got into a massive fight with his dad and Brendon got kicked out of his house. 

They weren't allowed to practice in the house, so they had to rent out a practice space. Brendon took a job to fund the rent and he stayed with Spencer, since Ryan's dad probably wouldn't let him stay in the house while Ryan and his dad's relationship was unstable. 

Most of their hopes of being checked out by Pete Wentz were ruined. Ryan wondered how everything could've gone so badly. He'd begun writing songs to deal with the destroyed dreams. 

He showed the lyrics to his bandmates, who all agreed that they were awesome. 

"Maybe we should try to make our own music?" Brendon suggested. 

"Sounds good," Ryan said, smiling brightly, hoping to lighten the poor mood. 

Brent looked up at him. "Do you have anything in mind?" 

"Yeah, actually," Ryan said,"I'm thinking we'd better do something that no one else has done for starters." 

"No death metal then?" Brendon joked, grinning. 

"That music sounds fucking awful anyways," Spencer piped up. 

"Brendon, you play piano, right?" Brent said, turning to Brendon. 

Brendon nodded. "Yeah." 

"We could put some of that in," Ryan said,"And, I dunno, maybe we could include some other instruments or somethin' as well?" 

And the four of them spent the rest of the afternoon discussing how they were going to distinguish themselves from other bands. 

When they did begin playing, Spencer recorded it for them and they often talked about what they were going to change or what they liked. 

Music made the hard times at little easier. Well, at least they did for Ryan. A little less difficult to walk past his father with his head held high and little simpler to talk to his father at dinner. 

He was really happy with how their original music was coming on. He wasn't sure what had compelled him to send it to Pete Wentz though. Maybe he hoped he might actually check it out. Maybe he thought maybe, just maybe they'd been good enough for Pete to actually sign them up to a contract or something. But he'd only thought of what he'd done after he'd pressed the send button.

And by then, it was too late. Only the future would show what would come out of that.

__________________________

When Pete Wentz did call, it came as a massive surprise to Ryan. He hadn't been anticipating that all. He'd expected Pete to ignore them. But to actually listen to them and then actually want to sign them up to a contract? 

When Ryan first found out, he believed it was a prank. Pete convinced him it wasn't though. He called the rest of the band immediately and told them to meet up at Spencer's house, if it was okay. Spencer had said it was fine and Ryan could almost hear the curiousity in his voice. 

Half an hour later, all of them were sitting in Spencer's bedroom. 

"So, what is it?" Spencer asked. Of course he was the one to begin asking question. 

"You're not going to believe what shit just happened," Ryan said, trying to contain his excitement. 

"Hit me with it," Brendon said, folding his arms.

"Pete Wentz just called me," Ryan said, almost laughing at the expression on his band mates faces,"And he wants to sign us to a fucking contract." 

The other three began talking immediately and all at once. 

"You're joking," Brendon said, his jaw hanging open. 

"That's a fucking lie," Brent said, folding his arms. 

"Why the fuck would he want us?" Spencer asked. 

"I swear to God, I am not lying," Ryan said. 

"You could be joking," Brendon retorted. 

"I'm not joking either," Ryan added. 

"Fuck, shit, dick, eh... Cock, bitch," Brendon said, as though he wanted to list out every curse word he knew,"How the fuck did he listen to our music? Did he stand outside and watching like some creepy stalker." 

"I sent him some of our music two days ago," Ryan admitted,"I meant to tell you guys but I didn't want you to get all pumped up about like last time and then be let down." 

"So, is this real?" Spencer asked,"Brent, pinch me as hard as you can." 

Brent punched him instead. 

"Ow!" Spencer said, rubbing his arm and glaring,"What the hell was that for?" 

"I didn't want to pinch you," Brent said and shrugged, then turned back to Ryan,"When do we have to meet him?"

"At four o'clock today," Ryan replied. 

"Shit!" Brent said,"That's in half an hour!" 

"Uh... what do we have to bring?" Spencer asked.

"Ourselves, I assume," Ryan said, thinking about what they'd have to bring. Why the hell hadn't he asked Pete that? 

"Duh," Brendon said.

"Where do we have to go?" Brent asked. 

"Uh... I think he said we had to go to Taco Bell?" Ryan replied. 

The other three stared. "Taco Bell?" Brendon repeated. 

"Yeah."

"That's....," Brent started, paused, then continued,"An unusual request." 

"So?" Ryan asked,"It's not like it's up to us. C'mon guys, we'd better hurry the fuck up if we want to get there on time." 

When they arrived, they spotted Pete immediately. Ryan walked over to him first, the group trailing behind him. He tried to put on a confident facade for them but his heart was beating so loudly in his chest he was surprised that no one else could here it.

"Hey, guys," Pete said, smiling widely at them.

Ryan glanced at the other three. Brendon was doing the thing he did when he was nervous; staring down at the ground. Spencer's mouth was opening and closing but no words were coming out. Brent was just staring. 

Ryan realised it was up to him to talk. As usual. 

"Hey," Ryan replied, his voice wavering slightly. 

"Have a seat," he said, gesturing to the several empty seats.

They did as he said and sat down.

"So what do you call yourselves?" Pete asked,"I mean, like as a band.

"We're not one hundred percent sure but...," Ryan started, but paused to glance back at his bandmates, who nodded,"We mostly go by Panic! At The Disco."

"Okay," Pete said, smiling widely,"How old are you guys?" 

"Brendon and the other two are seventeen and I'm eighteen," Ryan replied.

"Are you.... you still in high school?" Pete asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well.... Yeah," Brent said,"All of us except Ryan, who's in college. Well he was. Until he dropped out." 

Ryan felt as though that detail wasn't important and Brent didn't have to mention it. He shot Brent a glare. 

"What?" Brent whispered, wide-eyed. 

Ryan didn't reply to that. 

"Okay," Pete said,"Cool... Um, you'd have to leave school for quite a bit though to record an album." 

"That'd be fine," Spencer said quickly. 

"Would it be okay with your parents?" Pete asked. 

"Yeah, my parents said it'd be fine," Ryan said, even though no such thing had happened. 

The rest of his bandmates looked at him incredulously. He smiled brightly at them. 

"Okay, so you three need to get permission from your parents," Pete said, looking at the rest of them. 

They nodded, still staring at Ryan. 

"Is it okay if I listen to you play one of your songs?" Pete asked. 

They nodded again, this time with more enthusiasm.

"Yeah, that'd be great!" Ryan said,"Um... We should probably go over to our practice space. Since, you know, most of our instruments are there." 

Pete nodded. "Okay," he said,"Sounds good." 

Ryan stole another glance at his fellow band members. Brendon's leg was bouncing up and down extremely quickly and he was shaking, Brent was relaxed and Spencer was on the edge of his seat. 

"So, we'd better go there now," Ryan said, facing Pete again. 

It took them half an hour to get to the practice space and the four of them were about to search through their pockets for change to give to person renting the space when Pete handed over money instead. 

"That should cover it," Pete said, grinning. 

The person blinked and stared down at the piece of money in her hands. She stared at it in shock before walking off. 

The group high-fired and thanked Pete multiple times, to which he continuously replied,"Not a problem."

Ryan could see that Brendon was trying to get control over his nerves before singing, for obvious reasons. He sent him a reassuring smile, to which Brendon smiled weakly back. 

Ryan gestured for the group to gather in a small circle. 

"So, which song should we play?" Spencer asked.

"Nails for Breakfast and Tacks for Snacks is the one that we've rehearsed the most times," Ryan said, hoping that choice would make Brendon less nervous and more confident in himself.

Brendon nodded, still clearly nervous. "Yeah, that's probably the best choice." 

Brent nodded. "Okay." 

They broke away. Ryan picked up his guitar and sent a smile in Brendon's direction.

Brendon nodded in reply.

Ryan began playing, followed closely by Spencer and Brent. Brendon inhaled deeply. 

Ryan watched him closely, hoping he wouldn't mess up.

Brendon started singing, but with a slight waver in his voice, but that disappeared right when they got to the pre-chorus.

By the end of the song, Brendon's confidence was washing over the rest of them and Ryan's backing vocals had grown more powerful, as he felt strengthened by Brendon's confidence. 

Pete clapped loudly and cheered enough for an audience. 

Ryan noticed Brendon bow and did the same. 

"That was fucking awesome," Pete said.

Ryan's cheeked heated up and he was almost positive he had gone a bright shade of red. He looked at the rest of the band, who were also flushing red or else murmuring,"Thanks."

"So, I'll call you as soon as possible and we can discuss the album?" Pete said.

Ryan's eyes widened. That was a quick decision. "Uh... Yeah," he said, nodding.

"Great," Pete said, smiling widely,"See you all later then."

______________________

They met with Pete a few more time over the few weeks and also got introduced to the rest of Fall Out Boy while they were working on the album. 

The band worked extremely hard on the album, determined to get it out and soon as possible. Brent was beginning to annoy Ryan though as he wasn't working nearly as hard as the rest of them. Sometimes he didn't want to do anything at all and Brendon would have record the parts for the bass.

The other two didn't seem to mind but it was really irritating Ryan. He wasn't in a great mood in the first place, because his father had begun drinking more often and he was almost always in a drunk stupor, so Ryan had to avoid him a lot of the time. 

One day, Ryan just snapped. 

"Brent, get the fuck off your butt and do something!" Ryan said furiously. 

Brent raised his eyebrows. "Why? I want a break." 

"Yeah, well, too fucking bad!" Ryan snarled,"If you want to be a part of this band, you have to do something! Brendon can't always do your parts!" 

"I'm exhausted!" Brent protested. 

"And we aren't?!" Ryan said, the urge to punch Brent get stronger by the second. 

Brent was silent for a bit before replying. "Yeah, well, I -" 

He was cut off by Ryan. "And when you do play, because you're so fucking out of practice, you're playing shittily!" 

"Ryan, calm the fuck down, it's only a sma-" Brent started again.

This time, Brent wasn't interrupted. Instead, he received a punch to the face. 

Ryan glared at him. He wasn't usually violent, due to his fear of being like his father, but this time the stress and his annoyance at Brent had been building up inside for far too long and he had to release it somehow.

Ryan was about to punch Brent again when Brendon stepped into the room.

"Woah," Brendon said,"What's going on?"

Ryan lowered his fist, his anger faded and embarrassment taking its place. 

Brendon's brown eyes looked shocked at Ryan's outburst and somewhat sad. "C'mon," he muttered, pulling Ryan away from Brent, who was rubbing his jaw.

When they were far enough away, Brendon began asking questions at lightening speed. "What was that? What's wrong? How can I help?"

Ryan took a second to process all of it. "Brent's doing nothing, that's what's wrong with me! I'm sick of it!" 

"Okay, okay, chill," Brendon said, then grinned," Will a kiss make it better?" 

Ryan smiled half-heartedly. "I wish, " he mumbled. 

"Do you want to find out?" Brendon teased. 

Ryan's smile grew and he shook his head. "Really?" he asked,"Right now?" 

"When isn't there a time to flirt?" Brendon asked. 

"Now, maybe?" Ryan said. 

Brendon pouted,"That's no fun."

Ryan snorted. "You're too adorable for your own good." 

"I know," Brendon replied, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Ryan rolled his eyes and fell back onto the couch. 

Brendon leaped onto the couch and began bouncing up and down. 

"Do you have a fucking endless supply of energy?" Ryan asked, watching him. 

"Maybe," Brendon said,"I'll let you decide." And with that, he backflipped off the couch.

Ryan lay back against the couch. "I'm tired," he murmured. 

"Fuck that," Brendon replied, sitting down beside Ryan,"Being tired is boring." 

"Yeah, well, I happen to be a normal person and I get tired," Ryan said. 

Brendon lay his head on top of Ryan's lap. "Why the fuck are you so tired all the time nowadays?" 

"Because reasons," Ryan muttered, not wanting to talk about his home life. 

"That," Brendon said,"Is one of the worst explanations I've ever heard." 

"Thanks," Ryan said,"I'll take that as a compliment." He brushed a loose strand of hair behind his ear. 

"Seriously," Brendon said, folding his arms and looking up at him from his position on his lap.

"Seriously what?" Ryan said, playing dumb. 

"Seriously what the fuck is wrong?" Brendon replied.

Ryan sighed and looked away, finally giving in. "My dad is drinking a lot."

"Oh," Brendon said,"Shit, I'm sorry." 

"No, it's okay," Ryan said, playing with Brendon's hair. 

Brendon was silent for a bit. "I think you definitely need a kiss now." 

Ryan laughed. "No, I don't." 

"Mhmm?" Brendon replied,"As if I believe that."

"Now's not really the time for a kiss," Ryan said. 

"There's no specific time for kissing," Brendon said and kissed Ryan before he could open his mouth.

Ryan melted into the kiss easily. The kiss was softer than the last one they'd shared, and more meant as a reassurance. Ryan shut his eyes and deepened the kiss, searching for warmth and comfort in it. 

Brendon broke away this time, gasping for air. 

"Were you ever going to let me breathe?" Brendon asked teasingly. 

"Maybe not," Ryan said, grinning. 

"Well, eventually you would've been kissing a corpse," Brendon said, snickering. 

Ryan snorted at the thought. "That would've been fucking weird." 

"I would've been suffocating and you wouldn't realise," Brendon said, laughing,"Then when they inspected the corpse, they would've found that I died of fucking kissing someone." He paused. "It was a damn good kiss though."

"True," Ryan said,"It wouldn't have been that bad a way to die." 

"Yup," Brendon said,"Wouldn't have been that bad a way to go at all." 

They stayed for a little bit, tranquil in their own little world, Ryan continuing to play with Brendon's hair and neither of them saying word, buried deep in their own thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's the first chapter... I hope it's okay.  
> It's mostly based on real life events, but the dialogue and some characters, like Helena, are entirely fictional.  
> Some events have been slightly altered because I didn't know about them.


End file.
